Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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