Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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