I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just want nice things and good sex
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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