He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
