I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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