Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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