I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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