you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
