no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
