just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
