I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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