There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize