The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
