Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
