it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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