I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
