This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
