Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
