I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
