So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
