shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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