I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
