I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
