fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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