I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
