I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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