this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize