Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
