if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
