Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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