I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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