At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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