we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
