went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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