it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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