So drunk, too bad you don't want this
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize