I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
