Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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