i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
