We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize