Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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