but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
