Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
