Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
