Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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