I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize