Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
