she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't think brook has ever known best
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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