but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
