She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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