Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
