This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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