8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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