i think my tv is drunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
