I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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