so explain again why im purple
no
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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