yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
