Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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