she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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