that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
