Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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