with your own penis?
More tranny stories later!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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