why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
