i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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