brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
