I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize