mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
