I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's never too late to be topless.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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