im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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