This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
