I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
