I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
