no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
