You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
