That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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