I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
