Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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