How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
